This just really makes me smile....

She shaved her WHAT????

We had a bit of a milestone in our house last night...Lulabell shaved her legs for the first time! She had been bugging me for WEEKS (months) about it and I finally gave in...not that she was extremely hairy or anything but she has been extremely self-conscious about her hirsuteness lately and I decided it was time....I gave her a tutorial in the bathroom and she did very well, no nicks or cuts. She was VERY pleased with this new development and I told her that most women just shave in the shower (some more than others!) She apparently took this to heart later that evening while she was showering. This is the conversation heard later in our house:

Me: Well, you like nice and clean, honey (to my newly showered daughter).

Lulabell: Oh, yes...I feel SO much better...my skin is so SMOOTH! (whispers to me) I even shaved my arms!

Me: What?!?!?!

Stu: (perking up on the couch) She did what?!?!? She shaved her what?!?!?! Arms?!?!?

Lulabell: Yes, daddy, I shaved all that awful hair on my arms and now they're so SMOOTHHHH!

Me: I told you SPECIFICALLY to NEVER shave your arms!!!!

Stu: What??? She shaved her what?!!?!?

Lulabell: You didn't say SPECIFICALLY to not shave my arms...

Me: I most certainly did young lady...now your hair will grow back in and it will look like daddy's beard (mothers lie ALL the time, trust me).

Stu: She shaved her what????!!! (daddies are a little slow on the uptake sometimes).

Me: SHE SHAVED HER ARMS!!!(sometimes Stu has a little trouble hearing)

Lulabell: But it feels SO NICCCCEEEEEEE!!!!

So, Lulabell is destined to have her arm hair grow back like a man's beard and I am sure that she will be SO pleased with that...sigh.

Last night Stu wanted to do our regular "picnic in the park" that we try to do on Sundays. Last week we went back to our favorite place by the river and did some hiking. This week we decided to tone it down and got sandwiches to eat at our local park. However, the sun is setting much earlier now it seems and by the time he came home from work and picked us up (7:15) the sun was starting to set. We hurriedly got our sandwiches and made a beeline for the park, with me fretting about the park closing at sunset. Stu assured me it didn't and we arrived at the park just as the sun was going down. We found a spot to eat and wolfed down our food lest we be accosted by nighttime muggers in the park. It was actually quite beautiful though, with the lights going on and such and really, there were still quite a few people lingering there after dark. Peaches was in a hurry to get home as some TV show was on and I did want to try to catch the Emmys and all. It turned out that the Emmys kinda sucked and we ended up watching American Gangster on HBO, which is a heck of a movie (Yay RUSSELL!) This morning I watched the Emmys as I DVR'd it and I fast-forwarded through all the boring parts, which was most of the show. It's hard to believe today is the first day of fall again...didn't we just do this? However, I do enjoy this season here in the northeast, but I am seriously NOT looking forward to my heating bills this winter....man!

Birthdays, hand cream and crazy grandmothers (again!)

Drinking can be hazardous to your ability to continue shopping at Rite-Aid....as my husband found out last night. By the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO STU! He is 43 today Woohoo! He decided to celebrate with a couple of friends last night, one of whom shares his birthday. I had to work until 2 AM and so could only bask in the wonderfull afterglow of his liquid celebration.....NOT! He called me as he was leaving the bar and I was concerned that he shouldn't drive if he had been drinking. I was fully prepared to walk the 10 blocks to HIM, but he felt he could drive and so I began to wait. Finally, 15 minutes later, he arrived and seemed to be driving all right but I insisted immediately that I drive home. I had to stop at Rite-Aid for a few necessities first and as I parked, I FORBADE him from coming into the store. He reluctantly agreed and I went in. I was standing at the cash register a few minutes later when out of the corner of my eye, I saw my husband wandering through the front door....He had this BIG smile on his face and was looking right at me, like a bad child knowing he was doing something forbidden....I yelled "YOU PROMISED!" but he just smirked and kept on walking. Suddenly, as he was turning around to say something else to me, he lost his balance and crashed into a display of Nivea hand cream....have you ever seen those little blue discs of cream they have? Well this display must have had about 100 of them all stacked up nice and neat and they all came crashing to the floor in an instant...right in front of the two sales clerks who were standing there looking on in disbelief. OMG! I ran over to help my husband who was clumsily attempting to pick up all the hand creams and frankly, not doing too good of a job at it.

Me: (hissing) WHAT are you DOING HERE!

Stu: (hic) I had to peeeeee....

Me: OMG! Just give me those....go PEE!

And he lurched his way to the back of the store to the toilet. For a minute there I panicked because as many times as I've shopped at that store, I don't ever remember there being a public restroom. I suddenly had a visual of my husband peeing nonchalantly on a display of Charmin. The clerk quickly assured me that indeed there WAS a bathroom back there, so I breathed a quick sigh of relief. I got the little blue cylinders all back into the now crumpled display box and waited anxiously for Stu to return to the front of the store. I felt I had to say something to the clerk by way of an apology and explained that it was his birthday and he had been out celebrating...she dismissed this with the air of a person who has done some hard birthday celebrating of her own in the past. Finally, Stu returned with a big smile on his face and we headed home. At least we gave the clerks at Rite-Aid a little entertainment at 2:30 in the morning...huh?

The rest of Stu's birthday was spent with him sleeping until 2 PM!!!! Then he got up and we headed over to the Eastwood Mall with the kids and wandered around there for awhile. I got acosted by this strange little man who was trying to sell hand cream (!!!!) from a kiosk in the middle of the mall. He was in his 20s, with long hair and the longest eyelashes I have ever seen on anybody, male or female. He had these weird buggy eyes too and long, beautiful, polished fingernails. I mean, any woman would be PROUD to have these fingernails. He immediately squirted some cream onto my hand and began rubbing and massaging my hand, rather intimately I felt. (Later, Lulabell would confirm my suspicions about this). Then he made Stu and the kids feel my skin and compare it to my other hand with the old, dried out skin. They ooohed and aaaahed on cue and then he grabbed my thumb and exclaimed over the poor condition of my nail....tsk, tsk....he began buffing the hell out of it with this little square box and magically, after a few minutes, my thumbnail was a gleaming, glistening wonder of naildom....really, it was quite amazing that he did this with only a buffer of some kind. Again, Stu and the kids were bidden to witness the amazing beauty of my thumbnail. Then he grabbed my thumb again, and went at it some more. However, this time he got so into the story he was telling about the origins of the nail buffer that he began rubbing my thumb so frantically that I began to feel heat and realized my thumbnail was about to burst into flames from the friction! OW! I said, "hey!" and he apologized profusely, then grabbed Lulabell's thumb and decided to demonstrate his product on her! Finally, it came down to the sales pitch and while I did find the product quite amazing, I was just waiting to see how much this little thing cost. In my head I was thinking that if it was under $20, I would get it. He pulled me in close and whispered the magic words of "only $59.99" and I nearly burst out laughing at the preposterousness of the price for a nail buffer, some hand cream and cuticle oil. He seemed genuinely shocked at my reaction, then quickly recovered and said he would offer it ONLY TO ME at the considerably reduced price of $39.99. There! I had to take it now, didn't I? I just gave him a sly smile and said the two most hated words in his universe..."too much". He honestly looked like he was about to cry....I started to walk away but he grabbed me back, grabbed his calculator and punched in the magic digits of his BEST PRICE EVER! ($29.99)....No thanks, I said and again, began to walk away....HOLD IT! He desperately whipped out his pricing sheet to show me that he would give me the product at his cost but that was it....Now I'm thinking, he has worked really hard for the sale and if he comes in at $20, I'll buy it....he painfully punches in the number on his calculator and reverently turns the calculator so I can see it.....$24.99. SORRY! I told him I was hoping for $20 and he looked like I had just suggested that he kill his grandmother....Well, no sale I guess and the family and I took off, knowing that he was sending silent Israeli curses my way and flinging imaginary daggers into my back. Sigh - just another relaxing day at the mall, you know? By this time we were getting hungry and since there are SO MANY restaurants around the mall, we decided to let Stu pick where we would eat. The kids and I were rooting for Steak N Shake but Stu wanted something different. We drove to several restaurants in the area and Stu got out at each one to grab a menu so we could see the type of food and more importantly, how expensive everything was....Unfortunately, everything was VERY expensive ($8.00 for a hamburger) and I yelled that if we wanted to spend THAT kind of money, we should just go to Red Lobster and be done with it (Red Lobster being the be all and end all of expensive restaurants in my book). So, I suggested we head to a nice family restaurant in Hubband, Frankie's, where the food is quite reasonable and very tasty. Stu seemed to have an attitude about the place from the minute we sat down. He was not happy that it took 10 minutes for the waitress to take our drink order (pointing out that the people seated AFTER us were already ordering their food)....he was not happy that he could not get the waitresses' attention when he wanted more salad dressing, and when she finally brought more dressing for him, he was not happy about the size of the little cup ("it's smaller than the original cup!"). Finally, though, he settled down and enjoyed his dinner, as we all did. We headed back home with a beautiful purple sky to our backs and relaxed for the rest of the evening. Happy Birthday honey! Luv you!

So, my sister was talking with my grandmother Edie the other day. She has been in and out of the hospital recently with her congestive heart failure and has been staying in the nursing home part of her assisted living facility. I admit I have been remiss about calling her lately but my sister faithfully continues to call and speak with her. It's a crapshoot when you call as you never know if she is going to be "with it" or not. My sis happened to get her on an apparently clear day the other day and they had a lovely conversation about things. Then, as they were getting ready to hang up, Edie began to describe the lovely visit she had with me and my mother the other day....Now, this raised the alarm bells for my sister immediately as she knew that Edie had previously forbidden my mother from visiting her for reasons that are only clear to Edie. My sister was confused and unsure how to respond as Edie went on and on about the wonderful visit we all had. Then Edie mentioned how she had just finished dinner (it was 4:30PM)..... and that she had to hang up the phone because it was almost time for breakfast (4:32PM)....My sister was now thoroughly confused and quickly hung up so that she could call our mother to ask about the visit she was not informed we made....mother assurred her that in no way did we make the visit and the insanity of her phone call with Edie finally hit home. Whew....poor Edie - when my mom told me about our "visit" I was ecstatic because suddenly my position on the "favorite list" apparently went up a few notches without me having to do anything at all! My poor sister goes out of her way to call Edie and her nephew and her doctor while I just sit back and bask in the glory of my status as "favored one"! Sorry, sis....

The criminal speaks out....

Who's the criminal you ask? Well, that would be me apparently. I was planning on meeting a friend for lunch today, got up early, showered and happily sped down the freeway for lunch. Sped, being the operative word here, as I was clocked going 61 mph in a 40 mph zone....I knew as soon as I passed the cop that I was caught and for a moment, just a split second, as I saw him turn onto the freeway and his lights came on, I thought about making a run for it....just for a minute or so, but then reality hit as he came up behind me and I knew for certain it was me he was after and I pulled over to the side of the road. From where I sat ,waiting for him to come up to the window, I could see Lowe's to my left and imagined Stu was there, watching the whole thing go down. Then, just a bit past Lowe's I could see my destination, Applebees, where I knew my friend was waiting for me....GRRRRR! In fact, she texted me just then with "where R U?"....I didn't think it would be appropriate for the cop to see me texting right then so I ignored her. I got the "can I see your driver's license, insurance and registration please, ma'am?" and had to dig for a minute to find everything. Thank God Stu had put the new insurance card in there just a couple of weeks ago. The kind cop did point out to me quite helpfully that my registration would expire in 10 days (thanks!). So, he very politely told me he caught me going 61 mph (damn --- I like to drive fast, and that freeway is so deliciously easy to do it on!)....he handed me the summons (161 FREAKING DOLLARS) and told me I had 10 days to contest it if I wanted.....so, I was soon back on the road, making sure I buckled up and used my turn signal and headed to the restaurant. My friend was waiting and she knew by the look on my face that something had happened....when I told her she started laughing and said she had SEEN ME with the cop but wasn't sure because it was kinda far away...I assured her grumpily that indeed was me....MAN! So, my little lunch will end up costing me about $170....I haven't told Stu yet....can you keep a secret?

Zac!

This is a picture of Lulabell with the love of her life, Zac Efron....he was at the mall! Nah....this is just a lifesize cardboard cut-out of him that we saw and as you can see by Lulabell's grin, thrilled the daylights out of her...He had a price tag on him of $29.99...not sure what this would buy but I'm sure my daughter would pay ANY amount to have this hunk at her disposal permanently....!

Not much of anything going on....

Well, after the drama of last week I am breathing a sigh of relief that this past week was thankfully way down on the drama scale. Nothing much really happened at all except for the fact that I went temporarily insane on my kids yesterday....we were sitting in the dining room doing homework when I finally lost it as my son's disrespect towards me finally made me blow a gasket. Here I am, practically doing his homework for him and he STILL speaks to me like I am the tiniest speck of dust on his shoe.....so I threw his homework at him and screamed at him to get his a** upstairs and out of my sight before I really lost it. He has this tendency to make comments under his breath, LIKE I CAN'T HEAR THEM and I started tearing around the house, looking for masking tape because I seriously was going to tape his damn mouth shut...I started screaming for Lulabell to find some tape and she (like a good girl) ran to the kitchen to find her crazed mother tape. Unfortunately (or fortunately), there was nothing but scotch tape and I felt that just wouldn't do the job. I was so frustrated that I just started screaming and told them BOTH to go to their rooms. Finally, with Lulabell crying in bewilderment at her banishment and my son stomping off to HIS room, I was able to collect myself and calm down. I really don't know what made me lose it but I did.....I finally went to Lulabell to apologize for my behavior. I did feel SO bad about yelling at her. I was still very angry with Peaches and took his homework to his room and told him that he was not leaving his room in the near future until that homework was done to perfection....and if he just wrote in nonsense answers that I would erase EVERY answer and make him do it all again. I know that sounds harsh, but this past week saw him forget his homework TWICE and I was just at the end of my rope with him in that department. To be fair, he is doing VERY well in his school work so far, averaging mid-90s for all of his classes (our school is able to post grades online daily, which is VERY helpful). So, he is obviously doing his work, but I just resent that he is so blase' about it. I guess this is something we BOTH have to work on....

The kids and I got the pool down this week - which is a relief. The kids really didn't swim for the last month or so...not really sure why as I kept that pool pristine all summer. My friends who also have pools said this was NOT a good swimming summer for them either. We will be thinking very seriously about putting the pool up next summer though.

Mom's knee is holding it's own...she is walking on it and pretty much able to do all of her activities. The doctor told her that arthroscopic surgery is most likely down the road, but for now, with decreased activity in the winter, she can probably wait for this. If she wants to golf next spring though, she may need to consider having the surgery done. We'll see....

Not too much else to report right now....have a good week!

Busted knees and the love fest in Cleveland

This is Stu and Peaches at the American Idol concert on Thursday in Cleveland...and my beloved David....Grammy went with us too and because she was in a wheelchair, she got even better seats than we had! Why was Grammy in a wheelchair? Well, keep reading…..

First though, the concert was a blast and my little heart was fluttering to see my beloved David Cook. We had to sit through 2 ½ hours of the other idols first, as they came on stage in the order they were kicked off the show, starting with Chikeze – who did a good job. The boring ones for me were Ramiele, Brooke, Kristi, Syesha. Michael Johns was VERY well-received by the crowd and did an amazing Dream On. He was very cute and energetic and he is definitely my second fave. Carly also did very well and she is my third fave. Jason Castro was up next but unfortunately I didn’t really see him as I was making a very important trip to the bathroom and then stopping for some souvenirs and shirts. Then the screaming started in earnest for the Davids….first up was Archuleta who has a VERY strong voice and I enjoyed his act, although for me he did better on the songs that I actually knew….the crowd (and Lulabell) really screamed themselves hoarse. Our seats were off to the side of the stage, which made it very difficult to see the giant screen and so we took turns sitting with Grammy who was lower and more in front and so had a good look at the screens….then, David Cook came up through the stage singing and the crowd literally went insane….I went a little insane too! He was AWESOME…in very good voice and charming and funny and I fell even more in love with him (can you say crush?) All of his songs were wonderful and then the concert was over before we knew it. All together it was 3 ½ hours long – very respectable. We grabbed Grammy and made a beeline for the doors and soon were outside. For some reason, we seemed to have trouble pushing Grammy’s wheelchair…the front wheels didn’t seem to work well. We kept getting them caught in the ruts of the sidewalks and I’m afraid Grammy was jolted quite a bit as we pushed her to the car….Suddenly, we heard someone calling her name and were surprised to see a friend of hers from the marina, whom she hadn’t seen in years….I recognized him right away as her neighbor up there but she had to ask me afterwards who he was…..So, we continued our struggle to the car when all of a sudden we heard screams coming from behind us. These weren’t scared screams, they were excited screams and knowing that the idols sometimes come outside after the show to sign autographs, my mind decided that my David was somewhere nearby and Lulabell and I quickly abandoned Grammy in her wheelchair to rush to the screamers…..Alas, it was just the TV news so we jumped up and down with the others, screaming for no reason and cavorting for the TV camera (we may have been on the Cleveland news). Dejectedly, we walked back to Grammy and Stu and Peaches, who remained behind to guard her. We then found that we had gotten Grammy irretrievably stuck in a sidewalk rut and no amount of pushing or pulling could free her. By this time, Grammy was a little grumpy as she HATED being in that wheelchair and she was yelling at us to get her unstuck. Suddenly, swooping down from nowhere, four burly men came to help and miraculously lifted Grammy and the chair out of the rut and got us on our way. For some reason I found this incredibly funny and dissolved into helpless giggles, rendering me useless in the rescue operation. This did not endear me to Grammy, who I think gave me the finger at some point. So, as soon as I recovered, we continued on our way, continuing to have difficulty but making it to the car. The freeway entrance was just outside the parking area and zooooom, we were on our way home. Overall, a VERY fun night and very exciting for everyone, although SOME of us were still grumbling about the humiliation they felt….but the warm glow of the concert soon won her over for good.

Now, WHY, you ask, was Grammy in a wheelchair? Well, it started on Wednesday with a call from Grammy after I had received about 2 ½ hours of sleep, having worked the night before. She seemed in some distress and all I heard was “my knee”. I groggily got up and drove over to her place to find her stuck on the back porch with nothing but her cell phone. She had stepped down the ONE step from the garage to the porch when her knee kinda gave out and began to hurt….she was unable to walk AT ALL on it. Fortunately, she had some crutches in the garage and with much difficulty, I was able to get her to the van and we went off to the E/R. I grabbed a wheelchair for her there and we began our wait to see a doctor. Fortunately, we didn’t have long to wait, although we only ended up seeing a physician’s assistant. She sent Grammy off to x-ray while I waited in the exam room. The x-ray came back suspicious for a fracture (!) and we were told to keep the knee wrapped, elevated and iced, until she saw a doctor (isn’t that what we came here for?). Anyway, we headed back home and I tried to make her comfortable in her den with her knee up and iced. She later called me from her chair, saying she was trapped in her room with a big wasp and had nothing to kill it with. I sympathized but there was not much I could do as I had to hurry --- that was the day I had to pick up Stu from the Pittsburgh airport…so I ran to get the kids (stopping at a local convenience store for a sandwich) and together we traveled to Pittsburgh to pick up Stu…who was very glad to be home. We were equally glad to see him and we headed back home. Fortunately, I called my boss to ask if I could only work 4 hours that evening, as I had to be up early to help Grammy, figuring we would at least be getting an MRI for the knee, as the radiologist advised. Thank God my boss said “yes” to my shortened workday and I felt somewhat better, but extremely tired. I worked from 10 PM to 2 AM and then fell into bed for a blissful 4 hours of sleep….the next morning I got the kids up and off to school while Stu caught up on HIS sleep (grumble, grumble). Then I swung by Grammy’s to pick her up for her MRI. Afterwards we decided we were hungry and stopped by the local pizzeria for lunch. I had gone earlier to rent Grammy a wheelchair, as we knew this would be the easiest way to get Grammy from place to place. At one point she had decided she was not going to the concert, but with the wheelchair, this now seemed possible. So, pushing Grammy in her rented wheelchair, we attempted to enter the pizza establishment. However, with her holding the door open and me pushing her from behind, we hit a snag as the wheelchair’s front wheels decided to stop working and adhere themselves to the door jamb. No amount of pushing helped to get her over the hump and we were stuck. Did you ever see a dog humping somebody’s leg? Well, then you can imagine the type of spectacle we made as I attempted to “hump” my mother through the damn door (heave-ho!). Of course, my struggles were made weaker as I got the giggles and was not able to exert myself to the fullest. Mom was also not helping things as she too began shaking from the laughter and humiliation of it all….all through this, do you think anybody from inside came over to help us? NOOOOOO! They all just sat there staring at the entertainment in the doorway. Finally, with one final push, we were in! I could barely walk from the exertions and from clenching my legs together to prevent a public incontinence spectacle. I got mom situated at a table and hunched my way to the bathroom. I was finally able to get control over myself and grabbed our lunches, while we could barely look at each other for fear of starting laughing all over again. Finally, we left with no trouble whatsoever from the door and headed home, stopping once or twice for some errands. I left her about 2 PM with the promise that we would pick her up by 4PM for our trek to the concert in Cleveland. The rest of the day is as I mentioned above….I hope you noted that by the time we got home that evening, about 12:30 AM, I had logged about 6 hours of sleep in a 48 hour period and I was TOAST! The next morning I was up early once again as mom had an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon. We had to return the wheelchair that morning and as I was lifting it out of the car, I noticed that the rubber on the front wheels was completely gone and there was nothing left but the rims (looking considerably worse for wear). I was horrified and decided to pretend I hadn’t noticed this (this wheelchair was brand new 24 hours ago). I hastily returned the thing, but not before the nice lady noticed the front wheels…..I spoke up with “I saw that just now……I wonder what happened…” (thinking that this readily explained our struggles last night). I made a quick exit and told mom to gun it….We made our way to the doctor’s office where we were ushered into a tiny, airless exam room and waited. Again, however, we were seeing the physician’s assistant, who was so cute and charming I didn’t mind at all that we weren’t seeing the doctor. He checked mom over, fondled her leg quite a bit (I was SO jealous) and looked at her MRI. He told us she had degenerative tears of the lateral and medial menisci, which is cartilage that cushions the knee joint. He told her that arthroscopic surgery was a possibility here but he wanted to try a cortisone shot first. Grammy was very leery of this as she had this once before in her wrist and it was EXCRUCIATING. However, his charm and logic wore her down and she submitted to the injection. Incredibly, although he explained that it would take a day or two for the effects of the steroids, Grammy WALKED OUT of the office under her own power…her knee miraculously improved. This was just too incredible for words, but the shot was amazing and she felt like a new woman! We decided we both need to hit the grocery store and she dropped me off at Lowe’s to get the van. As we headed to the agreed up on store, I saw Grammy drive off in a different direction and I figured she was dropping me like a hot potato after 2 days of togetherness….so I headed to Wal-Mart, our original destination, alone and she headed to her favorite grocery store. She was nice enough to call me to tell me of her plans though…. So, that is the story of my sleepless week and our delightful time at the concert….I hope to God the wheelchair rental place doesn’t call….

MOVIE!!! Stu's SF trip....2008

As promised....

Stu looks stunning in his suit, don't you agree? The second pic is the view from Twin Peaks overlooking the lovely city. Just on the other side of that green blob on the left is where I lived when I first met Stu. The street cutting diagonally through the pic is Market Street, which travels all the way to the bay. I miss my city!

Stu has been having a very good trip - he landed at SF on Wednesday morning and caught a Greyhound bus right to Sacramento where he stayed with his sister and mother. On Friday they headed back to the city for his cousin's wedding (the suit). They stayed the night in the city at his aunt's house and then did some touristy stuff on Saturday before heading back to Sacramento. On Sunday they had a grand ole time in Old Sacramento which is really neat and set up like it would have been in the late 1800s. Stu caught a Greyhound back to Oakland on Monday and spent Monday and Tuesday with our friend Owen and lots of friends. He has been having a great time, but I think he is looking forward to coming home. We did miss him a lot and will be glad to see him home again.

Say what?

The following is an actual conversation between my mother and my sister:

Mom: "So, I saw P.S., today, you know she's really lost a lot of weight recently."
Sis: "Really? How'd she do that?"
Mom: "Well, she had her knee replaced a couple of months ago. (Laughing) I'm thinking I should get BOTH my knees done!"
Sis: (silence for two beats)...."Why don't you see if they could do your hips too?" (maniacal laughter...)

I swear that's a true story....the kids and I spent a lovely weekend at the lake, while Stu is traveling by Greyhound between the Bay Area and Sacramento...he's sent me some pics and I will post his news in a day or two. Hope everyone had a lovely Labor Day...we certainly did. More in the next few days, so check back, okay?